so_jang | fate protects fools, little children and ships named "Enterprise"

I'm an idiot but I'm safe.

I've been trying to get in shape, so today I went hiking.

For reference, A is where I parked my car. B is where I ended up and WAY UP in the right hand corner is where I wanted to go.

I felt pretty good when I started. It was early, it was nice out and I had food. I had lunch and a snack. I was ready, I even had water and my camera.

Being the trusting moron I usually am, I left my car unlocked, parked next to everyone else who seemed to be in the park, and started walking. There's a trail that goes up to Munro Lake. It's only 3km, (6 round trip) I figured I could do that and feel good about myself.

So I walk, and walk and walk, and after two hours of going uphill. (insert terrain map, so you can see HOW MUCH of an idiot I actually am.

It's uphill, it's drastically uphill, but it's REALLY pretty.

So, I find this note, it's a yellow piece of paper, stuck on a tree by a fork in the road that says something along the lines of, dear park service, this trail sucks but I tried to follow it anyway, couldn't find what I wanted.

So then, I'm curious. So, I follow the bad trail.

Now, if you want to keep track. Mistake number one was not telling anyone where I was going. Mistake number two was leaving my car unlocked, mistake number three was following the bad trail.

BUT it's pretty! So I'm happy. I walk another hour, think about turning around, THEN I fall.

Now, I fall pretty spectacularly, my shoes are not the best on wet rocks, the rocks are wet and I fall/slide/slip/tumble down into a creek. (I do not land in the creek)

I can't get up, it's very very steep. I figure, hey, I follow the river for awhile, see if it gets less steep.

(number 4, for those playing at home)

It doesn't, in fact, it gets worse and there is now basically no way to find my way back to the trail.

At this point mom calls. We chat, I scramble over rocks and trees and FAIL miserably at avoiding blackberries. Blackberries hurt and I am wearing SHORT PANTS.

(number 5, dear listeners) Mom leaves. Andrew calls because mom texted him that I was lost. WE chat. I think I'm okay.

It's 5pm now. For the record, I started around 11:30. It's buggy. It's hot. I can't find the lake I wanted. I have eaten my lunch and drank all my water. My knee is really ugly, but my ankles hurt worse. Mom calls again, I promise to call if I am not out by seven.

Seven comes. I am stubborn. I am running out of cell battery and I am hot, bitten, torn up by blackberries, rocks and trees but I won't admit it to mom because I can see power lines. I'm good, right?

(number 6!)

Eight comes. It's getting dark. Now I let mom call the police. The police call me, I get transfered. I have no landmarks. I can't here the siren from the car by my car. (by now my car is a suspicious vehicle report because it was left unlocked by a firing range)

I'm filthy now. My ankles are so torn up I end up sacrificing my beach towel, tearing it into strips and tying them around my ankles. This actually helps. Now only my hands and arms are being destroyed.

I keep walking. I loose reception. I finally finally finally see a lone piece of orange flagging tape in a tree. It doesn't lead anywhere, but near that is an old, desperately overgrown road. I follow that. I foloow that down and down and down and down and finally emerge on a dirt road at a firing range. Note it is not the firing range I started at.

I still don't have reception so I start walking. After half an hour an elderly couple and their dog bandit drive by. They're looking for a lost dog. I'm nearly as pathetic as one, so I get in back of the jeep with Bandit. Bandit is a warm, heavy mutt who is only to happy to shed all over me and lie on my lap. I have never been happier be shed upon in my life. Bandit is like heaven on my lap.

We drive back. I am chastised for parking where I parked. (just because everyone else did it, doesn't mean you can American girl) I am chastised for leaving my car open. I am chastised for leaving my purse in the trunk. No, Opal, it is NOT safe there.

The police will take it.

*headdesk*

My make-shift towel-based pants lengtheners are so torn up I have to cut them off with an exacto knife when I get home. My pants have four holes in then, two in the butt from sliding on things, one on the hip from a tree and one by the knee from a rock.

I learn from Bandit's people that their are cougars and bears and I am massively lucky none of them ate me. I learn no one really drives on that road and if they haven't been looking for a dog, I would have probably slept there.

All in all, I didn't fall down a cliff that was dangerous. I was not eaten or harassed or robbed or even given a ticket.

Fate was definitely on my side.